GotWoody?

Wed, 14 May 2008 01:10:30 GMT

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Cough it up, gents.

Excerpts from Job Applications

Tue, 13 May 2008 09:14:16 GMT

From:
To: info[@]splicetraning.ca
Subject: I AM A MAC GENIUS
[Resume.doc]
---

I view the document. Can't find any reference to Apple or Mac. Find lots about PCs and processor engineering. I reply:

"After reviewing your resume, we find your PC and hardware skills
commendable and believe you would make a good asset in the field of PC
sales & technical services. Unfortunately, we did not identify from
your resume any experience or qualifications for the Macintosh
platform or related Apple technologies. As we're an Apple Training
Center, this gives other candidates that possess Mac skills a
significant advantage. As such, we do not have a position for you at
this time."

I then receive a response, consisting only of this, to which I did not respond:
"I have apple certification."

------------------

Thoughts? Comments?

Mon, 05 May 2008 19:04:27 GMT

Sitting in a park in Basel, Switzerland.
Sunny. Working on my laptop.
Backpacker comes over, speaks in german.
"What?"
- "Do you have any money for me?"
"No, thanks."
- "Fuck you, then."
I continue to work, ignoring him,
He takes out a boxcutter. Slices a new branch from a tree trunk.
I'm a bit threatened. Laptop, me vs. crazy guy and his display of his knifeskills and his willingness to use them on woody things. I begin to put my Mac into standby so I can leave, but he picks up his bag. I resume working.

10' from me, a guy is in summer slumber, face covered by his jacket. i look over, crazy guy kneels down and is picking up coins that must have fallen from the guy's trousers. I yell at him "Eh!" The sleeping guy pulls his shirt from his eyes and looks at me. I knod upwardly, sharply, directing his attention to his other side. He seems the guy standing over him. Crazy guy smiles and walks away, looking at the coins in his hand.

- "What was he doing?"
- Taking coins that had fallen from your pocket.

Slumber-guy looks at him as he walks away, smirking.

- "Thanks."
And he puts his shirt back over his head and goes back to sleep.

I think I should have said "Oy!", it would have been more local than "Eh!", which is really just a "Hey!" minus the aspiration.

Airline Recruits

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:46:36 GMT

I overheard one flight attendant say to a passenger that the airline was having difficulties in filling Cabin Crew positions. Apparently now that gays are allowed to work as lawyers and property managers, the number of potential hires in our 5% of the population is too few to sustain the needs of Something Special in the Sky. That, and number of new positions resulting from the retiring en-mass of Air Canada's 55 year-old battle-axe Stewardesses. ("We were called Stewardesses when we signed up in 1973, and that's the way it's going to stay.")

With this in mind, it would seem British Airways - the Cattle Crew of the Sky Cabins - have opened the once ivory gates of their pastures to a new method of recruiting, YouTube style:

http://www.britishairwaysandpamann.com/

Airport Roadblocks

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:01:11 GMT

Why can't everyone be as efficient as I am at getting through security in an airport?

I mean, really: Put all your metal shit in your carry-on. Get rid of those ridiculous industrial chain necklaces.
Is it that difficult to have your laptop out of your luggage before you get to the counter? Take it out while waiting. Put your belt in your carry-on while in the line. Or, better yet, put it in the carry-on when you are at home, then put it on after clearing security.

Greater than 20-minute wait lines (Orlando MCO, London LHR) are only the result of incompetent travelers who shouldn't be allowed to fly. There should be a special line that routes them back out to the parking lot.

Or better yet, a line for those who have a clue. For those who have their liquids & gels in a 1L ziplock bag, who have their belt in their carry-on (coins & cell too!), and who have that baggie in one hand with their laptop (out of it's case) in the other. For me, basically.

I want my own line at the airport security gate.

The long and windies

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:41:29 GMT

Roads, that is.

I've made a bit more effort to connect with The Fraternity. You'd think with me being on campus just about every day, I'd stop into the fraternity house. Not yet. The brothers there, they're 18, 19. I feel a connection yet a disconnect from them. They're two generations removed: I was there in 2000, 8 years is twice a full undergraduate generation. Another approach..

Splice moved. I emailed the pledge class trainer and then offered the pledge class some cash to move the stuff. The old and new offices are in neighbouring buildings, so it wasn't a huge move but there was still plenty of work. Two purposes were served: Splice got moved, and I met some of the brothers-to-be. Some fraternity brothers don't like calling pledges "brothers-to-be." I disagree. I think it's motivating and encouraging to instill within the pledges that the membership wants them to succeed, just so long as they don't think it's an automatic acceptance, an honour bestowed upon them without the work of pledgeship. I think it also reminds would-be bossy bros that these younger lads will one day be referred to as "brother" and that certain actions and words are unfit to be used towards such men.

Of the 10 or 11 pledges currently in the Dal/SMU chapter of the fraternity, one stands out exceptionally, and two sort of (don't know them well enough yet), while the remaining 8 or 9, i've yet to meet.

A friend of mine, sort of a younger brother by some kind of diffusion or association (I suppose) has also pledged Sig in Tampa. That, too, may have been catalystic in the resurgence of my interest. Or it may, more simply, be a way in which I'm endevouring to retain the spirit of youth - by keeping in touch with it.

Powering it up

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 20:23:04 GMT

Hello?

tap tap

...

tap

Holiday Inn's thermostat

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:16:43 GMT

The sign above the thermostat in my Stephenville, NF hotel room reads as follows:

"Comfortable room temperature settings are recommended between 68 C and 72 C."

Where are my goggles, google?

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:04:23 GMT

This google map shows me how to get from Halifax to Copenhagen.

I draw your attention to step #24 of the journey: "Swim across the Atlantic Ocean"

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&saddr=Halifax,+NS,+Canada&daddr=Copenhagen,+Denmark&sll=46.316584,-17.050781&sspn=81.284936,135.703125&ie=UTF8&om=1&z=3&ll=49.037868,-29.355469&spn=78.342894,135.703125&layer=t

Halifax Airport's new Free Wifi Service

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:07:25 GMT

Halifax International Airport is now offering a new Wifi service that replaces the Aliant service previously offered. The new service is free.

I prefer the Aliant offering. Here's why:

When I use Google.com for normal (non-porn) use, I get this message from the free wifi service:

"Access To This Webpage Is Restricted

You are seeing this page because the webpage you are trying to access contains material that does not comply with this hotspot's Terms of Use. The reason given by the content filter is Banned combination phrase found..

If you think this is not correct, please go back and check the link or url you requested. You may have mistyped the URL of the website."

So what did I type into google to provoke such a response?
"stanfield"
"air canada"
"flights"
"halifax airport"

Pretty lame service. The aliant one wasn't so anal. Wasn't really free either.

Easter = Påske

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:39:11 GMT

Interesting wikifact (as opposed to a genuine 100% for sure fact):
"Chickpeas were grown in some areas of Germany for use as a coffee substitute in the First World War."

Last day on the job here in Denmark.. until June, that is. Halifax, Vegas and Stephenville NF all next week. Oy.

Splice has a wicked set of new courses in June for CS3: Photoshop, InDesign and Illustrator are all new.

Now where can I get some chickpea lattes..

Google AdWords

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 16:27:38 GMT

I've been using Google Adwords with Splice's website for the past few weeks. It's as close as I've come in a while to playing a game, at least that's how it feels.

I go in and make a couple ads and then unleash them on the net. Then I come back after a day or two and see which ones people clicked on. I find some ads are shown to, say, 2000 people yet not a single person clicked on them, while another ad has 4 or 5 clicks.

Then I tweak the ads that are performing poorly, the changes take effect immediately, and I return in another day or so to see if the changes were effective or not. I only started the tweeking game earlier this week. Clicks are up more than 400%.

I'm now using this method to test out ads for print purposes (we advertise in The Coast and some other industry papers). Previously I'd just submit an ad to The Coast (1" by 2") and hope it worked. I don't have the financial resources nor the time to do a focus group query. But, thanks to google, I can test out ads on a huge focus group and have the results within a day. Then the ad that gets the most clicks online will have its copy repurposed in print.

Facebook

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 09:32:28 GMT

I don't have enough time to maintain LiveJournal, the prospect of a second service is daunting. Yet 4-5 times a week, I get someone saying either "Add me to your facebook" or "You're not on facebook?" - It happens at bars and online. In Flordia; Here in Copenhagen; At Reflections in HFX. Place is irrelevant. (so I'll stop listing them)

Holding out.

... In the sky with DIamonds

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 22:28:46 GMT

Heaven, with all it's discoballs, camp 60s tunes and glitter just got to be a whole lot more exciting. Lulu and her alter-ego, Chuck, have made their debut in The Dragshow Immortal.

"Expected, but unexpected" sums it up for me. (Tim's words, not mine.)

Her last words on the blog:
"I will be back soon, till then much love and thanks for the Love, dont know what i would do with yu"

www.LuLuLaRude.com, comment on the last article to leave your respects.

Research? Smesearch.

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 03:53:36 GMT

So anyway, I met this cute frog in Montreal in November. Hit it off well with him, few random texts back and forth after, nothing since mid-December. I'm interested in meeting up with him again so thought I'd send him an email, only I don't have his email address.

I spent about 20-25 minutes searching around on the internet to find him, knowing his first name and that he teaches at either of two universities in Quebec and also knowing what field he studied as a student. Eventually I found him (after checking a great many Claudes, I must say) and even got a picture to confirm. I then needed to find an email address, which are easy enough to come by, so I decided I'd email him.

So I get into my email software and start to type his email address, and the whole thing auto-completes. "fuck these macs are cool", I think to myself.. bewildered at how the email-application was able to suck up the email address from the web-browser. Then I stopped because that made no sense.. looked in my Mac's Address Book and I already had an entry for him, first and last names, email address and some other information too.

I can only imagine that this information came from him when he and I were drinking (a lot) and I handed him my phone to enter his phone number.. then the phone sync'ed with the computer and it's been there all along! That was 20-25 minutes not well spent.

Oh well. I emailed him.

Condensed Update

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:41:16 GMT

- Bamboo is wandering a bit blind at the moment. I'm supposed to set the vision for it but am working things out with my partner, who's now less involved than before, as he now has a separate company that he's running (www.CodeCompletion.ca) . In the meantime, our programmer is creating a time-tracking web app in Rails & Flex, which was originally supposed to be a 3-week project and now is a bit of a 4-month project. But until I have the time to direct him to do otherwise, he might as well work on that.

- Splice is coming along OK. I need to turn over web/flash related duties to someone else though so I'm sort of on the look-out for an internet-technologies, flash-capable with some design-abilities wiz-kid for a month or so contract, to start anyway.

- Had our first tradeshow a couple weeks ago, the booth was tended to by boothbabe extrodinaire Mandy (splice's administrator) and boothbabe Jake(the guy who makes the hampster movies, who also teaches @ Splice. [www.OwensProductions.com or perhaps .ca). I was just getting back from dublin that day so went to the show direct from the airport in the mid afternoon. I learned a lot that'll help for our next tradeshow, for example:
1) We should have put our tagline "Training for Editors" on the main sign, as people didn't know what we did when they approached the display

2) Chipboard, when painted, looks like painted chipboard. This is in opposition to what the Kent Building Supplies worker-bee told me, which is that it would be smooth.

3) Resist having your booth being put into a corner space. It limits the "entrance area" because of the walls of the juxtaposed booths, which makes people apprehensive of going into the booth. (I call it a lobster-trap design). There was a woman serving drinks at the impromptu-cafe who has a side-job as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. One less career path for me to pursue.

- Eat, Drink, be Merry. Drink some more? Be Merrier. Drink some more? ("And then...?" ... "And then...?")
After the tradeshow, the presenters got to go to a dinner at the Press Gang in HFX where we could order as much as we want of anything and it was all paid for. Had a great time. Took one of the people who was tending the tradeshow booth that day (the other person declined).

The next night we went to a TourTech Party. My first time in a white stretch limo. The limo was more fun than the party, but the night ended short as there were 6 of us in the limo, 4 bottles of champaign, 8 baby-bottles of Jager and 1 bottle of red wine, all of which had to be consumed within the hour. (Is it illegal to drink in the back of such a vechical? I would think so, but then again, they also don't have seatbelts and Madonna did it in "Music", so it must be ok.)

- 47000miles flown last year on Star Aliance (mostly Air Canada). Having bought groceries at Sobeys for eons, I now have less than 3500 Air Miles to go before I have enough to claim a return ticket to Australia, where I'll expect Bartok will come over to Sydney for a weekend, as we've planned for years.

- Montreal in Feb. Supper with Claude would be nice. First step, the phone call.

- Orlando in a month and a bit. Must buy my ticket soon, as it'd be a pity if I couldn't get one and Marc already has his. Will then depart from Orlando to Copenhagen for 3 weeks for work. Then Copenhagen again in June, perhaps with Robio2001 and Nihilicious again. And when I write "Orlando", I mean "Half Orlando, Half Daytona." (+ish)

- In NYC now. Not a city I ever fancied going to, but found myself quite excited to be come here. Today I got in mid-afternoon and thus-far have seen enough of The Village & Stonewall, and have also seen Times Square, Radio City Music Hall, Broadway, the Empire State Building and have become somewhat oriented to the subway system. I'm having issues not calling it The Tube. I'm here to attempt to get certified in Final Cut Pro instruction, which will pave the way for Splice to be an Apple Authorized Training Centre, dishing out the certifications in Final Cut Pro operations. Yay to that and Booo to Avid for trying to do it all themselves and cutting out the Avid Authorized Education Centres. Boo again.

- Enrolled in Physics. Difficult, challenging, tough. Must find a tutor.

- Robio2001 had a party last night. He was going to have it the weekend before, but I was away, so he moved it. Then I scheduled my NYC trip so I'd be in NYC for the Saturday night, which meant I'd have to miss his party. But then I felt guilty having done that, since he moved it for the benefit of Mr. W in the first place, and given there was a fairly significant party reason, I decided to change the trip so I could be there for his party and leave on Sunday, thus giving up my first ever Live Saturday Night from [in] New York.

Nihilicious, after getting over his speech inhibiting glee at seeing me in attendance, whispered quietly to me: "You know, you're going to loose your reputation as an international.." and then he paused. I thought he would say "traveller", but that wasn't the next word. He continued, ".. as an international asshole if you keep doing sweet things like that." It's a classic Nihilicious dig&compliment, providing an over-all net-gain of 0 compliments but with a few side emissions in the form of Ha-projectiles.

Tomorrow? The Hop-On, Hop-Off bus. It's a bus inspired by EuroRobio's tub trip.

Raising the jar and raising hell

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 22:32:38 GMT

Sitting in an apartment in Copenhagen, overlooking the city square and the Tivoli amusment park, here with Nihilicious and Robio2001, the day after christmas, having some drinks as Nihilicious finishes straightening his hair. We're listening to The Rankin Family.

Welcome to my Surreal Life.

Inbreeding in Quebec

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 00:49:14 GMT

Confirmed in Scientific American, more frogs in the labs for DNA testing:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa003&articleID=3F59BCED6CB38237762E1D2B8CD4E086

Swimming

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:23:18 GMT

Today is one of those days where I feel i'm swimming in a sea of incompetence and the waters are trying to push me under. I've got 7 iMacs and some software that have gone missing by purolator on one order, then on an entirely different order from Apple, I have a keyboard and more software that's been sent out from the depot twice and both times wasn't delivered because the number of boxes in the truck doesn't match what's expected to be there. Then I have a large bank wire that i've been expecting for weeks and found out that BMO sent it back because my name was on it, not my company's name - even though my name is associated with the company and the account was correct etc. What frustrates me is that nobody from the bank called to tell me that the funds came in and were sent back.

--

In other news: Off to London, Dublin and Copenhagen until January as of this Saturday. Chemistry final on Friday, I think i'll do well. We're in our new office space with Bamboo and Splice (SpliceTraining.ca is now up), and we're restructuring Bamboo - shelving the project we've been working on for the past year and trying out two new ones. New projects, new space.. it's fun. Now if we can just make it profitable...

Who?

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 01:48:43 GMT

Upon entering the hotel room on Saturday, JDHorner exclaimed in surprise "You have a stuffed animal!"

Monaco and I looked around. "Huh?", we said in unison.

Bash-o-rama

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 01:37:09 GMT

Last night I went out with Frederic for beer here in Montreal. We finished up around 10, then went outside so Fred could have a smoke and hail a cab. We both have our backpacks. I was commenting on how hot it was in Cape Breton, according to the news, and before I knew it, Fred was on the ground, having been shoved back by one of three thugs that had walked by. His head was about 3 inches away from a concrete slab that jetted out of the ground. He slipped his backpack off and got to his feet pretty quick and was saying "What the fuck" when one of hte thugs turned around and said "What the fuck me? What the fuck you, man!" The other thugs turned around. Fred, furious, said his laptop could have been smashed, but the attackers didn't care, they crossed the street as I asked him if he was ok. His hand was bleeding.

Then I noticed one of the attackers was walking with a backpack. It was Fred's. I ran after them and got infront of the guy and Fred followed. I said "I'll take that back" and the guy dismissed me with "Fuck you". I swiped for the backpack but the guy pulled it away from me. Fred said "Give it back!" and I lunged for it again, getting a grip on it and pulling from the thief. He let go and Fred and I scooted back to the scene of the crime.

Fred was shaking and we were both all energized. A passer-by came to ask if we were ok, she had seen it all. I decided it wasn't time to head home yet so we ducked into another bar and I ordered us a couple beer while Fred washed his hand. He got his laptop out of the bag and it seemed fine. All's well that ends well, eh.

MacOSRumors = Clueless

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 16:01:01 GMT

The website MacOS Rumors continues to act like the cats-ass of Mac rumour websites, citing their international offices and sites that are about to go online, when their existing site is starved for content. They've always got great things coming up and "on deck" but it never materalizes, and the site is now full of pop-ups, unders, and links that go to 404/not-found pages. Don't get me started on their policy of refreshing your browser page frequently - I assume just to give their advertisers the impression that their ads are getting more views than they really are.

And aside from all that, now they're publishing a story about a secret new feature they discovered in next year's MacOS 10.5 software where the computer preserves the contents of RAM to a harddisk before the battery completely dies. http://www.macosrumors.com/20061022-1A.php

If it's so new and secret, why does has my Mac been been able to do that since I got it? I'm running MacOS 10.4.

I emailed them about this but they ignored it. Whatever. Mingers.

Scoll.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 18:56:52 GMT

Are there no websites that do Danish to English translations?

MacOS X Translation Widget. No.
Google. No.
Altavista. No.
InterTran. No.
Applied Language. No.

How difficult is it to pull when they write their bios in Danish, tabar..

Birthdays

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 13:08:46 GMT

and a happy birthday to Trav, Corey and also my mother. (Plus or minus 2 days)

Hungman

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 07:05:35 GMT

I'm not hungover today. Just tired. Chris got up at 4:45 to head for this train.. Whether he's actually on it right nor or back at the apartment asleep, well I'll find out this afternoon when I'm done.

I was texting CPH_Kevin yesterday. You'll recall CPH_Kevin (the queer formerly known as Kevin-the-Bartender/Server) facilitated an exceptionally drunken on Monday night. We met up with him again last night and he was in the same outfit as the previous night. I inquired and the guy hadn't gone to bed yet. He was out all night, all day, and now into the evening was still out. Such a partier.. I asked if he was tired and he said "No, a some speed and coke take care of that."

I think I'll stick to the occasional 4-5 hours of sleep.

I've been trying to learn some Photoshop tricks from this Dove ad but YouTube doens't have a frame-forward/slow-mo button on their player. Dirty evil robbin' bastards.